For those of you that may be offended by religion and faith or talking about it, here is your warning. This might be a post you want to skip over.
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*Edited to add*: After writing this, I found that this was a different side of me than I have ever written on here. A more exposed me. Please read with an open heart. Because I have put mine out there for everyone to see.
I grew up Lutheran, my mom's family is Catholic, we tried non-denominational churches, but once I went to college, I lost touch with going to church. Church had become a social event to see friends and I wasn't finding God in it like I had before. Chuck and I had gone to a church we liked for a while. Then we stopped. For reasons I can't recall. We have talked about going back, but sometimes I just don't want to do anything other than sit and relax or clean the house on Sundays. So I haven't gone.
We have had some life changing struggles come our way recently and thought to seek out a new church. One that met our needs and made us feel comfortable again. Then we moved and haven't found one yet. Or rather…we haven't really looked.
I have always been of the belief that you don't have to physically *BE* in church to feel the grace and love of God. But lately there have been a few things making me feel like it's time to go back. Or try to go back. Or at the VERY least…talk about going back.
I don't remember how I came across this site. I know it was from a blog I was reading, the I followed a link somewhere else, then followed another link…and so on. Until this caught my eye. And I was intrigued. I found other women that were becoming a part of it and couldn't wait until their August 10th release.
This site is all about fabulous, inspiring, heart-touching women talking about anything and everything all with a touch of faith mixed in. There is nothing being held back here. It's a community to (in)courage each other. It's a home to feel free to say what you wish to women who are ready to open their arms to you. And to tell their stories. There's no judging and you always feel welcomed. I am overwhelmingly touched by what is written there. (And yes, I realize the site has only been live for a couple days.)
But I am drawn to it. Drawn to the women. Drawn to the stories. Drawn to the faith, love, community. Just simply drawn to it.
This was one of the many things recently that has made me feel pulled back to God. (Not that I ever left Him or He ever left me….because we do still know each other.)
Then a woman I went to church with a long time ago has started (or more literally….planted) and church with her husband and friends. This church is called Bloom.
Again, something about it has been drawing me in. As I read about their building planting process I want to know more. Want to be a part of it. I desperately want ther green thumbs to rub off on me. But will they have me? I am an out of practice Christian. But then you read their welcoming words. Their loving words. They are nurturing a garden they can't even see. Touching those they don't know exist because we just haven't grown enough to let them know it yet.
So I am trying to decide if I should go. Experience it. See where it takes me. But I have fears. What if I don't go all the time? Will they understand? Be accepting to that? Be ok with my infrequent visits?
Of course they will. At least I have this strange feeling they will. This is just another reason I am drawn to them.
One final thing I came across was a site called Grace In Small Things or GiST.
Visit Grace in Small Things
This site has been a godsend. Literally. I have been trying to find a way to find the positive things in life since I am by nature a negative person. This has helped immensely. You write down 5 things every day that make you happy…made you smile…graced you.
Chuck is eternally positive and it is one of the many things I love about him. But I know my negativity can be draining. So this will be good for both of us. He asks what my 5 things are every day and loves this idea as much I do. I want my happiness to show through daily. And this forces me to find those positive things even on those days it's really hard. I find myself looking at everything analyzing if it is good enough to make the list.
I am only on 11/365, but you can follow my journey of daily grace HERE. There's links in my sidebar, too. I am also so proud of myself for sticking to this. I know that after 365 days, I will do this list naturally.
I know God doesn't want me to be an unhappy, negative person. I was given yet another opportunity to better myself and work on being the person outwardly that I know I am inwardly. That person my friends love. That person that God knows I am. That He made me to be.
There are many other things that have been triggering feelings in me that I haven't felt in a while. But I won't go into all of those here…at least not right now. I just can't help but feel that these are truly signs from God. When I need them most.
He's telling me He's still there. When I really need Him. Even when I don't know I need Him.
Maybe it's time I step out of my comfort zone and leap right in! There are so many changes happening right now anyway…why not throw in a couple more!? I believe I am being drawn to these places because God has been showing them to me. Placing these opportunities, these communities, these people and Himself at my feet.
All I need to do now is embrace them with every ounce of my soul that so desperately needs them. And answer God's call.