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Hard

Posted on April 27, 2020April 27, 2020 by Andi

I’m having a hard time today staying happy and feeling useful. I just feel like no matter what I suggest to my kids, someone whines about it or gets upset with me. I’m feeling kind of useless today.

I know that we are all going through feelings like this right now, but I’m just struggling today. I’m sad about all the changes and what the coming months and next school year are going to look like. I’m having a hard time knowing that everything is ending in Rosemount in a way we weren’t expecting or hoping for. I wanted to have a going away party with friends and neighbors and have promises to keep in touch. I’m disappointed we can’t have that.

I just feel like everything that is happening is happening so abruptly. Just ending.

But I am not looking for a pity party. I know we are so lucky our house sold and so lucky that things are falling into place fairly well to make this move happen. And I know we are lucky for having all of this going on. But it just feels like a lot today. A lot on my mind, a lot of my shoulders and I’m just having a hard time being the optimist and being happy every second for the kids.

I’m trying to do motivating things for them (playing outside, going on walks/bike rides/rollerblading, reading fun books with cousins, running through sprinklers…), but it just doesn’t feel like good enough….or enough at all. I know this will pass. It always does, but today it just feels like a struggle. The kids are kind of tired and cranky, and I’m finding it difficult to be happy enough to counteract their emotions today. So then we are all crankier. Yuk.

So I am going to take the kids and go read our book in the fort of our swing set. Even if only 2/3 of them are interested right now. I’m going to keep doing things even if I have to take two extra minutes between activities because I am crying and just mad at myself for not being happy today.

I don’t want to hide all my emotions from my kids either. I know this is all hard on them and I want them to know that they aren’t alone and that I am sad and mad and struggling, too. I think it helps them to see that their parents have emotions and that things bother them, too.

Things are hard right now, for a variety of reasons that change every day. I can do hard things, but I’m in the middle of a time that just feels

It will get better. I know this. But in the middle of it, it is ok that it is hard.

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