I have been an emotional rollercoaster recently. I have been crying over everything. Reasonable or not. I cry if I’m happy or sad. I cried myself to sleep the other night because it was all just too much emotionally.
Let’s think about the things I have cried about:
- General pandemic
- School being closed
- Moving (both happy and sad)
- Minor changes at the new house
- Not having our boat lift installed so our boat is living in the garage
- Needing to pack
- Moving furniture
- Not having friends or family help move the big stuff
- Kids can’t play with friends
- Birthday parades
- School parades
- Can’t snuggle my new niece
- Murder hornets
- That I can’t wander around stores
- That I have to video chat with friends
- Friendships fizzling because we don’t see each other in person
- Stress eating and feeling guilty about it
- The weekend
- Days off of school
- What we will do all summer
- Gifts for Mother’s Day
- That my popcorn supply was almost gone
- Ordering food online
- No kids sports
- Justifying things
- That people don’t follow the rules and have just given up
- That states are reopening
- That we still need to be extra careful
- Cancelling things
- Kids getting hurt
- Wanting our house closing done
- Wanting the new house built right. this. second.
- My puzzle is hard
- I haven’t read the books I have checked out yet
- That I fall asleep reading
- I’m tired
- And again, just general pandemic.
So yeah. Some of these are legit things to cry about. Some of them aren’t. And it just doesn’t matter if they are reasons to cry or not. They just made me cry. And that is freaking OK.
This time is hard for everyone. We are all dealing with things in our own ways. I get that. And I get that we are all in different situations. I know that my struggles are different than other people. I am so thankful Chuck and I both have jobs that we can do from home and that we are able to move forward with this move. I know that we are healthy and have food and shelter and are safe. I understand that so many people are not in that situation. But just because we are fighting different battles, doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to be emotional.
This post is not to whine or complain about everything. It’s to say that emotions are high right now. And life is weird and hard and we are all going through it in our own ways. Some days are good and some suck. Some days I love being stuck with my family and other days I just want to stay in bed.
So I am going to ride this rollercoaster through the ups and downs. I will hold on tight and cry and laugh and embrace all the changes. And I am confident we will get to the end of this ride eventually.