Alex – ANDI HAYS

Bittersweet Ending

Posted on May 19, 2020May 19, 2020 by Andi

My sweet boy had his last day of preschool ever yesterday. He didn’t seem to care that things are over for him. He was telling his sisters it was his last Zoom meeting and seemed pretty happy. He’s just so excited for kindergarten!

Me on the other hand, I was a mess! I cried off screen and just felt so bummed out when it was over. I was already feeling overwhelmed and sad about things and then this. I was just in a gloomy mood the rest of the day. We were supposed to give these sweet teachers hugs goodbye and gifts wrapped with love and thankfulness. Instead, there were kisses blown to the screen and mom’s sad about endings.

This pandemic is all so weird and unprecedented. We are all doing the best we can. I’m so proud of all Alex has accomplished this year and I know he’s ready to tackle kindergarten next year (no matter what form that may come in come Fall).

I know the end of preschool for my youngest isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things when others are ending high school, missing weddings, no funerals, no graduations, no proms, not working, virtually learning, moving on to middle school or high school and all the unknowns that our future holds. I’m sending hugs to you all because this shit is hard and it’s weird and strange and we can’t ask our parents or grandparents what something exactly like this was like. We are setting the path for the future. (I need to do another whole post on this thought.)

Hug your babies or kids or family or friends, in real life or virtually, and know that we are all going through changes of some sort and we are here for each other.

Acceptance

Posted on January 24, 2020 by Andi

This story below has been on my mind and I can’t stop thinking about it. I have had similar things happen, but not to this extent and I just need to share it.

A man’s son (a 5 year old in kindergarten) wanted his nails painted and then got bullied at school for it. Before I say what my feelings are and why this resonates with me, I want you to read what this dad said.

When I read this I wanted to hug this little boy and high five his parents. This poor kid gets bullied and picked on by his peers for something as small as painting his nails. It breaks my heart.

My youngest is 5. He will be in Kindergarten in the Fall. And this boy loves his nails painted, tutus, skirts and all things glittery and sparkly. His favorite book is called “Just Add Glitter”. Now some people might say that he likes these things because he has two older sisters, or because I, myself, like to have my nails painted and LOVE glitter and sparkly things. But (1) his sisters are not very girly. Their dress-wearing is sporadic, they have buzzed undercuts on their hair, play hockey and softball and are both tough as nails! And (2) he just likes them. He isn’t pressured by his sisters to wear skirts, he just chooses them when he picks out his own clothes. Because they spin and sparkle and make him happy.

I also have a daughter who is 9 and she loves sports, video games, has short hair (because it makes her feel awesome!) and loves to ride her bike and rollerblade and go skating and skiing and is one of the funniest people I know. But she has been told that she “looks like a boy” because her hair is short. WHAT?! It makes me so sad.

Who are we or these kids to judge this and say it isn’t ok? Even into adulthood, women especially are judged for how they look or what they wear if it might not fit into the norm or just doesn’t appeal to one person. I am almost 40 and in my head I don’t give a damn what people say or think about me, but I know that I do to some extent.

And my son and this boy above are 5! I’m an adult and I can handle it. But these kids are just learning who they are, finding themselves and learning to love themselves. So it makes me so sad that this happens.

I know this happens. I am naive enough to think that “this won’t happen to my kid” or “things will change” or “it’ll be ok”. It can hurt. And it sucks when my kid comes home and tells me that someone said “skirts are for girls”. No they freaking aren’t. They are for anyone that wants to freaking wear them.

Let me digress briefly about toys being gendered. This makes me INSANE! My kids (both girls and boy) play with EVERYTHING! They dress up, play with pretend food, play all kinds of games, play with doll houses, play with dolls, play with cars, play with LEGO, play sports, play video games, play with PlayDoh, etc. And never once have they said they can’t play with something because it’s “for a boy” or “for a girl”. I know my husband and I would have a conversation with them if they did, but we raised them to know that TOYS ARE TOYS. There are not boy-toys or girl-toys. Just like it is nonsense that blue is for boys and pink is for girls. I have many male adult friends I have seen wear pink. And my girls rock blue all the time!

The picture at the beginning of this post was from a couple weeks ago. I was working and I needed my son to play by himself for a while. I snapped a couple pictures and a video of him playing and it was so sweet. I loved listening to the way the parents talked to the kids, the voices he used for mom, dad, kids and just how he made everyone interact. It really shows what goes through their heads as you see them play with these things. The parents were nurturing, the siblings in his pretend house we helpful and I was so proud of the interactions I overheard. And I never would have gotten this sweet moment if I had told him “Alex, that dollhouse isn’t for you to play with, it is for your sisters.”

It is hard to talk to your kids about these things. And not hard in the sense that I don’t know what to say, but hard that I HAVE to tell them “don’t worry about what people say”, “don’t listen to them”, “you can like anything you like”, “you are beautiful”, “you are you and you are amazing and spectacular”, “tell those kids that it’s ok to like what you want and it is ok that they don’t like the same things”. And for the most part, this works, We have very emotionally strong kids, but it still makes my heart hurt that these things even need to be said.

We need to get our heads out of the clouds and stop thinking in this way of the past. It is 2020. We should be above this. Shouldn’t we have bigger things to worry about than what color our kids are wearing, what toys they are playing with or if they want to accessorize themselves?

So stop and listen to yourself when you are talking to your kids. It is not ok to put this pressure on them. They need to see they are loved and accepted for any choices they make. Someday they will be older and have much bigger and harder things they are dealing with than whether someone says they shouldn’t wear nail polish and you will want them to be able to come to you about it and not be embarrassed. So step up your game and make sure you are teaching your children acceptance. And maybe it will be a good refresher course for you as well.

Maddie’s Birthday Weekend

Posted on February 21, 2017February 21, 2017 by Andi

We had lots of fun celebrating our big 6 year old this past weekend. On Saturday morning, Chuck and Maddie worked on making a birthday cake. She wanted to make and decorate her own cake this year. Chuck helped her bake and she did the decorating. (One was chocolate and the other cake was rainbow with white frosting.) She was so proud of herself!

Saturday afternoon, we had a girls outing and went to see Fancy Nancy at the Stages Theatre. It was a really cute show with lots of singing and dancing by kids. The girls loved it. We took my mom, my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and niece.

The amazing Grandma Linda made Maddie a Merida dress (from the Disney movie Brave). Now, here is a picture of the image she was modeling the dress after:

I honestly think hers is even better than the ones you can buy in the stores. Amazing!

That evening we had some family over to celebrate and eat all the cake Maddie made. She also got a few other Merida accessories to go with her dress. So cute!

Then on Sunday she wanted to go to brunch. So we took her there and then we went to the Mall of America because she wanted to go to the Crayola Experience and spend some birthday money. We had also planned to ride rides, but since it was a holiday weekend, it was really busy there and we decided to skip rides.

On Monday, I had plans to meet a friend at the mall (we knew it would be a potentially terrible idea with everyone in town planning to be there, too). So we took the kids on some rides and had lunch. Since it was President’s Day there were some events going on and the kids got crowns and got their picture with some presidents.

After lunch at the mall, we went to our friend’s house to hang out for the afternoon. It was a fun-filled day (and weekend) and we were all exhausted by the end of it. I think Maddie had a great birthday filled with fun, family and friends!

Now we are thankfully back to our regular schedule.

June!?

Posted on December 21, 2016January 29, 2017 by Andi

It’s December 21. I last wrote almost exactly 6 months ago on June 22nd. Not for lack of thinking about ye old blog here, but I just haven’t done it. Something else has come up or something else needed to be done. I’m going to have to make a serious list of all the things that need to be documented on here. Since I am so crappy about making baby books for my kids, the least I can do is document some of their childhood here.

Wishing you all a happy holidays! Our xmas card (if you can call it that) is below. We decided not to send one out this year. I’m just posting it virtually online. Save a tree, right? Or laziness. Whatever works.

Birthdays: Alex (2) & Dannie (4)

Posted on November 18, 2016February 1, 2017 by Andi

Alex and Dannie had a Curious George birthday party again this year. I am not sure how I convinced Dannie to have another one, but it turned out great. It was so nice to be home for their birthday, although their birthday in Seattle will always be so special to me because I got to spend it with our friends there before we moved back.

My amazing friend and neighbor who owns Ganser’s Goodies made the cupcakes for the party. I told her what Dannie wanted and then I popped in the cupcake toppers. They were delicious and a huge hit!

I can never get these two to look at the camera at the same time, but I really wanted a picture of them in their Curious George shirts I found for them. This was the best I could do.

We had family and some friends come celebrate with us. We played, opened presents, ate and socialized. I think this might be the last family/friends party we do. It’s starting to get too big with all our family and the kids are going to want more friends at their parties soon. But it was so fun to have everyone over to celebrate these two monkeys.

Alex really got the hang of presents this year. He LOVED opening presents and tried to get some of his sister’s opened, too. We just did gifts from guests at the party and opened ones from us on each of their actual birthdays.

When we went to light the candles, I didn’t take off the cupcake topper and it started on fire. There’s a couple funny pictures of me when I realized what had happened and this was the funniest picture of me.

My babies are very quickly becoming not babies anymore. I’m sad and also really excited about this. They are all so sweet to each other and love each other to pieces. I love that they are friends and can’t wait to see what kind of people these kids will grow up to be.

Happy birthdays my sweet little monkeys. We love you!

First Haircuts

Posted on February 22, 2016January 29, 2017 by Andi

Maddie got her first haircut. You read that right. She’s 5 and she just got her first haircut. I wasn’t ready to cut her hair. But then it’s been so hard to manage lately and it made her so upset to brush her hair, I knew it was time. So we took her in to get a haircut. Here are before and after pictures.

When I first looked at the pictures it didn’t look like she had very much cut off. But then we did a side-by-side picture and when you look where the bottom of her shirt is, you can see that quite a bit was taken off.

It’s so much nicer now and so much more manageable. I know I should have done it sooner, but now she has more crazy mom ammunition for later in life.

And as if cutting Maddie’s hair didn’t send me over the edge, I decided to get Alex’s hair cut as well. And Alex went first, so the 15 month old got a haircut before the 5 year old. You can call me ridiculous now.

Maddie was a trooper and didn’t make a peep or anything. Alex, well, he cried the whole time. But he was mostly mad that I was holding down his hands. He calmed down as soon as he got the plastic cover off him and I let him out of the chair. Here are his before and after pictures.

I wanted him to have a mohawk, but knew that I wouldn’t keep it up and style it everyday, so I had her keep it longer, but she still styled it that way for me. By the time we got home, though, the mohawk had fallen down. Here’s one I snapped before we left.

This place saved a clipping of their hair in a little envelope. The lady who did Maddie’s hair commented that was one of the biggest amounts of hair they cut for a first haircut. Haha.

Overall, it wasn’t as traumatizing for me as I thought it would be. And now I can brush Maddie’s hair without a fight and Alex just looks like a little man. Now maybe just another year or two before Dannie gets her first haircut.

Alexander is ONE!

Posted on November 18, 2015February 1, 2017 by Andi

I know I say this every month, but time has flown by and I can’t believe our baby is one already. This past year has been a whirlwind and in what feels like a blink of my eye, my baby is no longer a baby. But I can say with all confidence that even though I am sad he’s not a baby, I am SO excited for all the things that come with him being older and not having babies in the house anymore.

It has been very freeing to get rid of all the baby stuff and I love seeing him grow up and turn into a little boy. It’s hard to tell so far how different he is than the girls were (because boys are different, I am told).

We had his one year checkup yesterday morning (along with Dannie’s three year checkup). He got 4 total shots and the girls got flu shots. He weighs 24 pounds and is 30.5 inches long.

A couple weeks ago, all the kids got sick. They got a high temp and cold/cough that lingered until just recently. They were so tired and cranky. Alex became very snuggly when he was sick. He now likes to crawl into my lap and put his head on me or sit in my lap. I’m working on getting him to give me more kisses, too.

He just crawled up the kid picnic table the other day. I didn’t get a picture of him standing on the seat, but that’s where he was when we saw him the first time. Then he continued to crawl up it over and over until I took it back outside. I think we are going to need to find our baby gates right away.

Alex is an eater. He still loves his food and has wanted to do more and more on his own. He now just wants me to hand him half a banana to eat and doesn’t want it cut up. Mind you, the kid still only has two little bottom teeth, but he is quite proficient with them. His other new favorite thing is pretzel sticks. I know he’s my kid because he looks like he really likes licking the salt off them. He’s getting really good with his snack cup and loves his water bottle.

He babbles all the time and says “mama”, “dada”, “nana”, “baba”, can click his tongue, sticks his tongue out at me, does “so big”, claps, waves bye, points at things and signs “more” and “drink”. We are working on “all done” instead of throwing his food off his tray.

He has also learned the joy of dumping things out. Of course he doesn’t want to dump out toys….just food.

He loves playing with toys that make noise or things where he can push buttons. He likes putting toys into a box or bucket and likes to page through books. He still doesn’t want to sit still while we read him books. He mostly wants to eat them, but we are working on it.

The girls are still really good with him. They play with him and include him in everything. They are helpful and caring and sweet to him and always want to love on him and tell him how much they love him. The girls love making him laugh. It is so cute hearing them laugh at each other. Alex just wants to be doing whatever his sisters are doing.

He loves playing at our friends’ house with their little boy that is the same age. (We are going to miss them like crazy when we move!) Lately he has had a lot more fun there than here. When we are home he just wants to be in my pocket. But he plays really nicely there. I am sure it’s because we don’t have many toys here anymore and they are all getting bored with the few we do have left. I can’t wait to unpack all their toys and let them loose in the basement!

Alex has been working on his walking, too. He likes walking around with his car and cruising around the furniture. He likes it when you hold his hand and help him walk, but doesn’t seem stable enough to walk on his own quite yet. Here’s a video of him walking with this toy.

I think (and many others have commented, too) that Alex looks just like Chuck. Dannie is my mini-me, Alex is Chuck’s and I think Maddie is a good mix of us both.

Last weekend we had a birthday party for Alex and Dannie and it was a huge hit. Alex loved his cupcake and made a huge mess of himself. I will post a bit about the party soon.

We are down to the end of his bottles. Normally, I would cut him off today, but with the drive coming up, I am going to let him have his one bottle and formula for a few days until we get back home and then deal with changing him over to milk. Most days he doesn’t even finish his bottle and prefers to drink it out of a cup with a straw. Hopefully the transition won’t be too bad.

The girls like to wrestle with Chuck when he gets home from work and Alex has started to get in on the wrestling fun. I know Chuck and the girls will be excited to unpack their wrestling pillow! He likes being carried and we learned last weekend that he enjoys sitting on your shoulders.

Our little man is growing up so quickly. He is changing all the time and becoming more independent. Alex’s is the happiest boy and we love his laughs (and snorts). He wrinkles his nose when you tickle him. I can’t wait to see more of his personality as he grows up. We love you to pieces little man. Happy birthday, Alex!

Fall Play Date Fun

Posted on October 26, 2015 by Andi

We went to my friend Mallory's house to hang out last week. We hang out there quite a bit. At least once a week. I actually took a few pictures this time. Our kids all pay so nicely together! The second picture is from a different day, but it was just so cute.

We also made these Berry Bars while I was there. The kids had fun helping and eating them.

Just before it was time to leave, we took them outside to play in the leaves for a few minutes. Of course, I couldn't get all my kids to look at the camera at the same time no matter how hard I tried. Typical.

The girls played hide and seek and found a worm!

Monster Treats

Posted on October 21, 2015 by Andi

Last week we went to a friend's house to make a little Halloween treat. She found the idea here on Pinterest. These were really easy to make and the kids had a lot of fun. We decided to make them with Fruity Pebbles because her daughter doesn't like Rice Crispies. This was a delicious substitution!

You just make crispie bars, melt some chocolate, then decorate. Easy easy easy. Goofy faces and thumbs up were had by all.

After the treats, the girls had Alex chasing the remote control car around. It was the funniest thing.

Woodland Park Zoo

Posted on October 19, 2015October 17, 2015 by Andi

We have made a visit to the zoo here in Seattle many times. But on this visit, the kids were happy, the sun was shining and I just happened to take a bunch of pictures. So here are some pictures from a recent visit to the zoo this Fall.

We played at the park just outside the zoo for a little while before it opened. The zoo opens at 9:30, so when the kids are up before 7, it’s pretty likely that we are stir crazy before the zoo opens.

Next, the girls thought it would be fun to chase the jaguar. They don’t have much of a survival instinct. Smile

Up next were the gorillas. This one was so sweet and came to look at us right by the window.

Inside the zoo, there’s a really fun playground. They like to run around the path (over and over), stand on the ant hills, go down the rock slides and play in the spider webs.

One of their favorite places at the zoo is the farm. The animals were pretty silly when we were there.

More fun things to play in/on.

Dannie is starting to get the hang of standing on standing part of the stroller. For some reason Maddie wanted to sit in the seat.

The lions are kind of hard to see in this picture, but they were all out on the rocks which is something we don’t see very often.

We hadn’t visited the wetlands at the zoo in a long time, so we took a stroll through there. It was really pretty

The red panda (Firefox) is one of my very favorite animals. He’s so dang cute and fluffy!

We also saw the giraffes, hippos and zebras, but I didn’t get any good pictures of them. I love this zoo. The only thing I wish it had were more indoor areas. It rains here…a lot (in case you didn’t know) and it would be nice to have more options at the zoo for rainy days. But alas, it does not. I hope we can get a couple more nice weekend days to make another visit before it gets too cold (and rainy) for the season.

What is your favorite animal to see at the zoo?