I have been in a life rut for quite some time. Moving back home was supposed to make everything better with this rut. Unfortunately, that hasn’t exactly been the case for me. I have been struggling with the prospect of going back to work for quite some time (for example, what I want to do, what I’m capable of doing, and not being scared to try). I touched on this a bit in a previous post I wrote. Well, today I had a breakthrough.
So, for me, staying home with the kids is the easy way out. I am scared to try new things or attempt to sell myself at something new. But it hit me today that staying home is probably one of THE hardest jobs there is. It’s mentally exhausting, grueling at times, dirty, you don’t get a vacation, no time off, no pay (except for all those sweet hugs and kisses) or 401k. You spend your day teaching and playing and being a short order cook. Along with keeping things together around the house (which I fully admit I am not very good at).
I have always doubted my abilities and really my brain. I seem to think that I am smarter than people at times, yet I have no real ambition or motivation for what I want to do with my life or any trust in myself to accomplish any ideas I may have. Every time I think something sounds fun, I immediately disqualify myself because of my lack of qualifications, knowledge, because I’m worried about failing or worried about learning something new to educate myself. I would love a job I don’t have to go back to school for. And I am certain there is a good fit for me out there.
I have started contacting some friends in various fields for input, suggestions and help with various aspects of this journey. As of right now, I am not exactly sure of my direction, I feel more like I can tackle something and do it well. Because a lot of the time, when I do something, I don’t suck at it as much as I thought I would.
That was a long-winded way to say that if I can do something that many people consider so challenging (and find it to be my “easy way out”), I can really do anything. And at the very least, I can make an effort to be good (or great) at it.
I know something similar (if not exactly) has been told to me by my wonderful husband who knows what I am capable of, but today, a light came on and it just clicked. So, I’m ready to tackle the world and find an area of work where I can flourish and come back to life.
If you have any tips or insight for jobs or contacts in the tech field, project manager jobs, website building (I like the idea of a web editor or managing a website), recruiting (I’d like tech recruiting of some kind), analyst positions or something else that might be a good fit, let me know. I am working on strategizing my next steps, but please reach out if you have suggestions for me.